The battle begins

Well, if I were being completely honest, the battle has actually been going on for quite some time now.

The battle over whether or not to send our Cran to kindergarten next year at school.

Maybe every parent goes through this, and in fact it is a natural process of not wanting to let go? I'm thinking maybe it is indeed just that. Maddie isn't even in kindergarten yet, and I'm already feeling the emotions of 'letting go' syndrome. I can only imagine how hard it will be when other bigger things in life arise with these three precious girls of ours!

Preschool has never been an option for us. These girls can learn everything-and more- right here from the comfort of home, and with us. Maddie is an incredibly bright little girl. She's extremely quick to pick up on things and wants to know the answer to EVERYTHING-- from the simplest of explanations, to the most complex. She has a memory that astounds, and a drive to want to try new things and excel at what she tries. She is extremely, extremely social and loves meeting new kids and playing with her best friends here at home, her sisters. She is extremely loyal and loves her cousins and friends who matter most to her. I'm thinking she would do really well in a school environment.

And yet, she tells us she does NOT want to go to school. She is very adament about this. I'm thinking of calling the school over Christmas break so that maybe the 4 of us can go with her to see what the school looks like and she can kind of get a 'real' idea of what it might be like to be at school. And, before I know it, kindergarten registration will be here in February.

My internal battle is whether or not to do the school route or homeschool for as long as possible? It can be hard to juggle the needs of my three here, but yet it is a very satisfying feeling to know that our girls are learning and doing right here before our own eyes. I'm not completely sure that I am ready to hand the reins over to somebody else- a complete stranger to us and to our dear Crannie- and put my trust in somebody else that she will be well taken care of while she is away from us.

I guess I'm already starting to stare the 'letting go' process right in the eyes, and despite this perceived step being "only" kindergarten, it's still something I am not sure I am ready to tackle quite yet.

Random Crannie-ness

Maddie's been writing her name from right to left lately, and I couldn't figure out why she was doing this.

I finally realized that it's because she's been trying to write with her right hand instead of her left, and when I asked her why she was doing that she said, "because I want to be right-handed like Faith." Hahaha.

Memory that amazes

Maddie's memory is awesome. It amazes me all the time.

She picked a Halloween book the other day at the library and it talks about 13 rooms and goes to the tune of Christmas' "12 Days of Christmas." We've read it to them about 3 times, and the girl's got it memorized. She was singing it to Faith over and over and over today in the bathtub, and took it with her to bed to sing it to Faith again. It's so funny because it reminds me of how I used to try and persuade Tia Rosa to learn the complete list of AKC dog breeds, and Maddie tries so hard to get Faith to memorize these lines also.

She honestly remembers so many little details that it's crazy sometimes. I tell her all the time, "you are so detail oriented" and she'll ask me "what are details?" So now when she sees Faith coloring or drawing well, Maddie will tell her "wow Faith, you are so good at the details!"

Wishes

The other night after dance class, Maddie saw the first star of the night. She and Faith LOVE to stand outside and make wishes if they see the first star of the night.

She wished that night "for Faith's birthday to be a success." It was so sweet!

Le petit artiste, and a ball of emotions

I'm hoping Crannie has received some artistic genes (that are NOT due in part to either Dan or myself, as the extent of our drawing skills is stick figures-- and Dan is even worse at them than I am!) from other people in our families. She is so very into drawing, painting, coloring, crafting, and basically anything artsy. She tells us all the time that she is the equivalent of a 'baking talent' and an 'art talent' fairy in the Pixie Hollow world.

I look at her drawings, and think they are just perfect. She is getting better and better at drawing things by herself. She loves coloring books, but also loves inventing her own things to draw on construction paper. She gets so detailed too, and loves drawing houses with clouds, tulips, and of course all of us standing in the front. The other day she drew a picture of a hot air balloon that I thought was really great.

******

Completely unrelated, but Cran has also been a ball of emotions as of recently. I don't remember exactly how I felt when I was little when it was somebody else's birthday and not mine, but maybe I also felt the way Maddie did this week? She gets so happy for Faith and fuels Faith's excitement about things, but at the same time she then gets teary-eyed and asks me when it is going to be her birthday. For weeks now, she has been so excited to talk to Faith about her party, but in the same sentence then she wants to talk about her birthday also. I do get a little frustrated, and I hope that I handled it all OK with her in wanting to make sure that she understands that everybody has their own special day, and it has been Faith's time to celebrate her special day.

I know she means well in everything she does though, and I know how guilty she gets at feeling the way she has been feeling. She is totally my child when it comes to the way she handles her emotions, and I feel even worse for her about that. There are times that she'll get quiet, and when you ask her what she is wrong, she tells you "nothing" and stays quiet like that for a little while. When you tell her, "Cran, you can tell us" it always spills over into a huge ball of emotions about the littlest things, and then the guilt that she gets for expressing herself through crying. My little Cran. She gets very upset with herself about feeling certain ways, and then she'll apologize and apologize. I know she always has good intentions in everything that she does though, and I tell her that.

Little princess

I don't ever want Maddie's mindset on "love matches" to change:

She was telling me the other day (very seriously too) that the reason she HATES the end of "Enchanted" is because Giselle is a princess, and Robert is a "just a man. He is not a prince like Edward. That's just not a match, Momma. A princess is supposed to be with a prince, now that's a match."

She's got her sights set high, and I'm hopeful this will continue on throughout her life so that she never settles for just any plain, old "man!" Hahaha.

Dance class, take 2

Maddie started dance class last night. 

We'd been back and forth about whether or not to enroll her for this year. Of course, she (and Faith) have been begging to take dance again, but we weren't 100% about spending extra money every month. We finally decided that she truly does enjoy it so much, that it is worth the $40/month. 

Anyway, we had the most overwhelming thing happen to us while we were at Maddie's dance class. There is only one girl in this class from last year that Maddie remembers, and all of the other girls are new. Well, there was a little girl in a pale blue leotard with short brown hair and Minnie ears that came right up to Maddie and said, "Hi! I'm Alexia. Do you want to play with me?" Maddie started jumping up and down telling us, "Oh my gosh! It's my friend Alexa! Look, it's my friend Alexa! Yes, I'll play with you, Alexa." The little girl went on to explain that her name was Alexia, and not Alexa but was as sweet as could be. Maddie heard something similar to Alexa, and automatically thought of her "friend", Alexa.

Midway through the class, we were asked to come in to see some of the tap steps they had just learned. The woman standing next to me told me that this little girl, Alexia- only 5 years old,- has Stage IV neuroblastoma. She was just diagnosed two weeks ago, and is already on her 2nd round of chemotherapy. My heart sank and I had tears filling my eyes. I couldn't stop looking at this little girl and thinking, "this could so easily be our Crannie" and thinking about Alexa in Texas and her family and everything that they endured. 

She and Maddie were fast friends from the get-go, and Maddie insists that this is her friend AlexA. Not, AlexIA. She tells us, "this is great, now I don't have to send pictures to her on the helicopter."

I think she's gonna like it here...

.... Just like in the song from "Annie!"

We've been learning about and finding some great little shops and activities for the girlies to do around here. Maddie was just ecstatic the other day when we happened to run into a friendly woman in front of us in line at Redner's. I've been walking there with the girlies and letting them choose their baking stuff once or twice a week (Abrie's nap is our baking time!), and the woman in front of us took notice to how enthusiastic both Maddie and Faith were talking about the strawberry cake they were going to make, and of course Maddie standing there looking at the Holiday issue of the Pillsbury magazine. She told us that she owns a little bakery right up the road from us, and she was getting all sorts of flour, sugar, Phillo dough, etc etc which Maddie especially thought was so interesting. 

She went with Dan the other day to Blockbuster because she was specifically looking for a Strawberry Shortcake video called "Cooking up Fun" that we can't seem to find at the library. She did find it, and now she desperately wants to start her own cooking show with her Beebster. Haha!

We also found a little place called "Le Petit Artist" up the road from us (walking distance) where you can make all kinds of neat things with beads, pottery painting, mosaics, etc etc. I'm going to have to look into it because Maddie is already asking to go. This might prove to be an awesome place to go in the winter when we can't get out to the playground or outdoors due to the cold. 

Bike rider

Anybody that knows my Crandaline knows that she is not Ms. Athlete!

Bless her little heart. She loves playing sports and games with her sister, cousins, and friends; but, an athlete she is not. She is definitely a runner, and has the long legs for speed and endurance (I think track and field and cross country will be her sport). But, every time she kicks a ball it goes about 6 inches in distance, every time she throws a stick it usually goes BEHIND her head, and every time she bats a ball she usually ends up missing. My little Cran!

Anyway, I was so darn proud of her today at Toys R Us. The ugly weather sent us looking for something to do this afternoon indoors. They love riding the bikes and trikes at Toys R Us, and Maddie hopped right on up on a 16 inch girl's bike and away she rode. She pedaled perfectly, steered it correctly, and even used the brakes properly. I guess she is one that likes the hand brakes rather than the pedal brakes. She was SO incredibly proud of herself, and told us she would like Santa to bring her a big bike.

My Cran was super bike athlete today! 

Stiff neck

A wonderful way to begin the day:

Beebster comes out to the living room this morning and I wonder where Maddie is. She tells me, "Dee owww. Dee, neck oww. Dee no (and does the motion for running---yes, she could very well be an Indian with the sweet way that she talks!)". I figured something was wrong. When I went to check on them in our bedroom, I saw Faith sitting on our bed with the bin of My Little Ponies and asking her beloved Dee, "Dee, play with me?" while Maddie is laying flat on our bed and immobile.

Maddie told me her neck hurt, but I didn't realize the extent of it. She didn't move for the next three hours. She clearly had her first ever stiff neck, but it turned out be so scary since we've never experienced this in Maddie's life. Dan usually shrugs off my tendency to over-react, but even he was worried sick when she asked for him to take her to the bathroom finally at 10:00am and he had to hold her stiff as a board as if she were on a stretcher. She would cry out in pain if we even attempted to move her-- not even cry, but rather scream this blood curdling scream. 

She just must not have known the level of pain in a serious stiff neck, and since this was her first she didn't know how to deal with the pain. And, we were automatically thinking all sorts of worst-case scenarios in the backs of our mind. We were more than just a little relieved when she finally started to feel better by the time Abrie got up from her nap and had eaten. Thank goodness.

******

The relationship between Maddie and Faith was so clear today when Maddie wasn't feeling well. Faith didn't even know what to do with herself without Maddie playing with her like they do almost every single second of the day, literally. Faith brought two puzzles in to our bedroom-- one for herself, and one for Dee and she sat there on the bed doing her puzzle next to Maddie. Even though Maddie wasn't doing her puzzle, I think it gave Faith comfort to be next to Maddie. When she realized Maddie was really not wanting to do anything besides lay flat as a board on our bed, Faith did the next best thing and lay down right next to Maddie and pulled the sheets over herself. They are an inseparable pair. 

Triggy swimming

Swimming with just her water wings on which was a BIG accomplishment for her, and we are so proud!

"My eyes are twinkling"

Had to make sure I remembered this Crannie phrase from yesterday:

We were watching the beginning of "Tinker Bell" yesterday, and it was the part where they show Cinderella's castle in the beginning of every Disney movie. Boy, have these girls been asking and asking and asking to go back to Florida on a minute-by-minute basis. Anyway, during the few seconds that they show Cinderella's castle, Faith asked Madison, "Dee, play? Dee, play with me?" and Maddie did these hilarious eyes where she kept blinking her eyes and said, "Not now, Faith.. my eyes are twinkling" (as in she was in awe!). 

Hahahahaha.

Crannie my speller

I've decided that when people ask me about Maddie going to preschool or not, that I am going to answer them by saying I home school her. Basically, that is what I'm doing anyway.

I was SOOOOOO proud of my Cran today. I saw her go to the dining room table with her drawing pad and her pencil case with crayons when I got up to put Abrie down for her afternoon nap. I came back out, and she told me to close my eyes and that she had written the word 'balloon.' I smiled at her and told her, "that is a hard word to spell," and I thought for sure she couldn't have spelled it correctly. 

I must learn not to doubt this girl. She had spelled it perfectly! That's a word I haven't even thought to practice with her because it seems so hard to sound out, and too long anyway. Well, she figured it out herself. Then, she told me to guess what she was writing next. I saw her start with 'B-A-R' and I told her, "bar?" She said, "no, Momma" and added an 'N' and goes "Ta Da! It's barn!!" She then went on to spell 'apple' and wanted to learn how to spell 'Molly' and 'Kirsten' from her American Girl books.

Love, Big sister

Maddie just told me:

"Faith is my sweetest Beebster friend I ever had."

"My friend, Alexa"

Took Cran and Beebster to the library the other day, and one of the books that Maddie checked out was "Alex's Amazing Lemonade Stand" about the little girl, Alex, and her lemonade stands that raise money for cancer research. This has triggered non-stop talk ever since about her friend, Alexa.

I was reading Alex's book to Maddie and Faith this morning, and about 15 minutes later when I told them to get their sandals on for our walk, I noticed that Maddie was quiet. I asked her what was wrong, and she just burst into tears: "I miss my friend, Alexa, Momma!" I told her that everybody does, especially her own Mom, Dad, and little brother. She hugged me very tightly. She talked A LOT about Alexa during our walk. She kept saying that "well, there are a lot of people that miss my friend, Alexa.. you miss her, Daddy misses her, Beebster misses her, and I think even the Bay Breeze misses her." She kept asking me when she would get to meet Alexa, when Alexa would get to see her family again, and if Alexa would ever come to Pennsylvania to meet her and her sisters? All difficult questions to answer. She told me she wanted to draw pictures of Alexa's favorite things and send them to her, and then asked me "well, do you think a helicopter could take the pictures to her in the clouds?" She kept asking for me to tell her all about Alexa's favorite things, even though I've told her so many times about how alike they both are. She just loves to hear about how she loved everything fancy, pretty, and princess-y just like her. She came home and worked on her spelling this afternoon, and requested that 'Alexa' be one of the words she spelled since she wanted to know how to spell it. Then, she chose a Cinderella picture to color and wrote Alexa's name on it. She's anxious to finish her drawings (Beebster later chose a Snow White to draw as well for 'Dee's friend!') and send them to her friend.

We are definitely going to have to get Maddie (and Faith and Abrie) a copy of Alexa's book so that they are able to understand a little better about their sweet "friend."

We never met this precious little girl, and yet we miss her so much. My girls will always know of her and about her. 

Little scholar

There are so many things that I love, admire, and respect about my three baby girls.

Cran is such a little scholar. The girl loves to learn. And, I love to sit back and watch it.

Relating to THE girls!

Some of the neatest experiences in having my girls is reliving some of my favorite things when I was little through them. Maddie and her new found love of American Girl books is one of those really neat memories of mine.

We literally have an enormous stack of American Girl books checked out from the library on our couch. I've been taking her to the library just she and I on the days that Faith actually naps, and she just LOVES, LOVES, LOVES looking for American Girl books (and always insists on finding Faith some books too before finding the nearest table to sit and page through all of the new chapter books she found). She doesn't want only one; she wants as many as they have at the time. And, we've been reading through them like fire-- almost one a day. She's not even the only one that likes them; Faith-y Q. loves them as well, and HER favorite is "Meet Molly." Oh, how the Beebster loves that one. 

We've been taking a book with us on our walks, and stopping to read a chapter when we get to our destination (so long as Abrie is napping in the stroller). It's neat to see the different quirks that Maddie likes/dislikes in each of the girls from the stories. I always remember 'Kirsten' being my favorite, and Maddie says 'Samantha' is her favorite at the moment. I kind of figured she would love her since she has all the elegant clothes and tea parties, and stuff like that. In fact, now she has been requesting a tea party for her birthday party where everybody brings a doll and we make ice cream with rock salt. Haha.

******

She's been doing wonderfully also with her interest in spelling and sounding out words. I've been trying to make my own workbook pages and helping her with 3-letter words, but she'll often ask for 4-letter words. 

And, on top of that, her new favorite song is Michael Jackson's "Heal the World!" My little Crannie Tannie.

American girls

Maddie is officially hooked on my old American Girl books.

She loves reading chapter after chapter, and if it weren't for the fact that I had so many things to do with either Abrie or Faith, etc, I would sit there and read the entire book in one sitting with Maddie. She is constantly asking for "one more chapter, please!" We've read "Changes for Kirsten" already, and are now working on "Felicity Learns a Lesson." She has already named a stuffed animal 'Felicity' because of the fact that Felicity resembles our Crannie!

Maddie cracks me up at how anxious she always is to learn. Every day lately she comes to me and tells me she wants to do "subtraction lessons." That's her new thing. The other day at the doctor, she was doing "addition lessons" and adding beads in the waiting room. She was talking out loud, and this little boy tried to help her learn multiplication- of course, to no avail... Maddie just kept saying, "it's ok, I just want to add". It was funny. But, besides that, she's also been very interested in trying to spell. We've been practicing with three letter words.

She picked out a book at the library the other day that is all about adjectives. It cracks me up because there's stuff in there that is so cutely described, but that is totally crazy to think that she likes to read it. Dan was laughing because it talks about demonstratives and predicate adjectives and many other things that he said he doesn't even remember what they are! But, both she and Faith love the book and ask for it all the time. 

Chapter Crannie

Cran is obsessed with chapter books these days.

The other day we went to the library and looked for Strawberry Shortcake books in particular (they took a liking to them one day when we happened to find some at the library). They didn't have any of the picture books, but the librarian found a chapter book about Strawberry Shortcake on the shelf. It doesn't have any pictures and is 62 pages long, and Maddie immediately said "No, I don't want that one." I mistakenly took it with me when we took our other books to check out, and brought it home of course.

They have been so busy playing school these days, and I mentioned to them today the idea of sitting and listening to a chapter of the Strawberry Shortcake book. I explained to Maddie when she told me "but, there aren't any pictures" that she and Faith could imagine what was happening, and that is what makes books fun. She and Faith were so into the whole school notion, that they agreed and sat on the couch while I fed Abrie and read them Chapter 1. Well, they ended up loving it. Faith even sat through two chapters. They liked it so much that after I was done with those chapters and feeding Abrie, I asked them if they wanted to make bookmarks since we'd have to read the book chapter by chapter and wouldn't want to lose our place. They loved this idea. They cut their bookmarks out of construction paper and decorated them. 

Faith was reading with Dan after dinner (her Mickey books she checked out from the library) and Maddie asked if I could read another chapter while I fed Breezer. We ended up reading the next 5 chapters which finished the book! All 62 pages. She LOVED it. I would stop every now and then to ask her if she knew what was happening and everything (since she sat there sniffing her blankie without pictures to see), and she always answered all of my questions so excitedly. I've now gotten out my American Girl chapter books- that I always saved in case we'd have girls- and have some other horse chapter books that I saved for them as well that I loved. She's so excited to use her bookmark tomorrow. She kept telling Dan, "I just love chapter books!"

*****

They love the new show "Special Agent Oso" on Disney channel. There is one episode where Oso helps a little boy get ready for Show-and-Tell at school. Maddie was asking me about that one morning, and today I thought they could do that while I fed Abrie. They loved it. Maddie picked a Precious Moment girl that sits on their bookcase that was mine. She told Faith and I as we sat on the couch, "this is my Precious Moment girl. Actually, it is my Momma's. But, she gave it to me because she loves me so much. It is beautiful." It was cute. Faith showed Maddie and I her blankie and described it in her own language which was hilarious. They were already searching for their show-and-tell item for tomorrow morning!

Crannie's 1st ever performance

Cran's big show was yesterday afternoon.

I was so extremely proud of my big girl.

She had been so very, very excited for this big day. Faith had been so very excited for this big day. And, Dan and I had been so very excited for this big day. We gave her her bouquet of flowers in the morning, and she told Dan "Daddy, I love you. Thank you so much. They are beauuuuutiful!" Nene and Grampa also got her some flowers, and she thought this was just great.

The show was at Exeter Sr. High School. Cran had packed her backpack full of "activities" to do with her little girl friends. It was so sweet. Tia Rosa had brought her some make-up before the show and she had been in heaven with her body glitter and eye shadow. She took these in her backpack and was putting body glitter on all of her little friends. She had also packed some grapes, tortilla chips, ponies, and crayons with a notepad. Needless to say, all of the little girls were enthralled with Maddie's things and they all kept busy. I got her ready, and it was so strange leaving her when they had to line up for the show. I've never left her anywhere. I was so excited though to get out to the auditorium and watch my Cran in action.

Little Breezer got hungry after the first dance, and Maddie's tap dance was #6 in the first half. So, I went to the back and rocked Abrie as best as I could (didn't work too well!) to try and make it to Maddie's dance so that I could see her. I got teary-eyed when I saw her little shadow being led out to her spot by Miss Melissa. She was always at the head of the line. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. That was MY little girl in her first show. I didn't care if Abrie was still fussy or not, I rushed down there to see her and was just hit with a flood of emotions. I was just so darn proud of her-- her singing, her dancing, her personality-- just my little Crannie. It seemed as though I flashed back to when she was just as small as her baby sister- her Breezer- and now I was watching my 4-year old Crannie dancing up on stage in front of hundreds of people.

'Waltzing Matilda' was awesome too in the second half. I felt so guilty though that I had to rush so much to bring her out to the auditorium to watch the rest of the first half, and then rush to leave her again after intermission to go feed Abrie and then make sure Beebster was OK, etc. In fact, my one complaint about the entire afternoon was in the form of more guilt that I couldn't be back there right away with her after their ballet dance. We were all exiting the auditorium literally minutes after Maddie's 2nd dance (when I told her I would be back to get her), and we see Maddie coming in to the auditorium all by herself. Her eyes were holding back tears, and she just told me "Momma, I missed you" and almost started crying. I am still furious that nobody realized my Cran had just left the dressing room, and am just relieved that she was alright.

All in all though, it was an awesome experience. I know she will never forget her first stage show. And, Dan and I certainly will not either.

Dress rehearsal

Today was Cran's dance rehearsal for her big show tomorrow afternoon.

I seriously couldn't be more proud of my Cran. She dances so darn well and sings the loudest and does the moves so well. She practices with her Fafey nearly every single day, it is so funny. She just loves all the girls in her class and her beloved Ms Dawn and Miss Melissa. It will be so sad not going to dance class every Saturday morning anymore.

We had been reading her "The Berenstain Bears Get Stage Fright" a lot this week just in case stage fright would rear its ugly head with our first-timer. Not to worry though. She LOVED practicing on the stage, and while the other girls seemed to get extremely nervous and shy up there, Maddie was totally in her element. She is definitely a performer! She is so excited for tomorrow, as are we!

Caballeros, cross eyes, and Coach-y Coach

Cran is absolutely obsessed these days with the movie, "The Three Caballeros." That and "Saludos Amigos" was Faith's Easter movie gift from the Easter bunny, and they just love that darn movie, especially Maddie. She tells me all the time when she watches the parts about Mexico that she would like Nene to teach her how to dance like that, and that she would like to visit Mexico one day. Haha.

I've failed to mention Maddie's 'crazy eyes' that she does now, and has been doing for awhile. She does cross eyes to a 'T' which she then calls her "crazy eyes." They're hilarious, and yet freaky at the same time. She'll tell Dan all the time jokingly, "Daddy, I'm mad at you!" and proceeds to do these crazy crossed eyes at him!

She also has been hilarious in calling Dan "Coach-y Coach" as a joke. The other day he was teaching them both how to play a game of kickball with him at the playground, and she was so eager to please and follow directions. She would say, "Ok, Coach-y Coach" and he would laugh so hard. Now it has progressed to, "put me in, Coach-y Coach!"

******

Maddie's relationship with her Breezer is so perfect. She is such a little mother to her baby sister, and tells me all the time that she wants to do things herself with her Abrie. She is so protective and loving to her; it's quite neat the differences in relationships between she and Faith, and she and her Abrie. Abrie quiets down so much when Maddie starts talking to her, and when she is wide awake they have some of the cutest moments together. Maddie tells her and Faith, "we are all going to be best friends forever." It's precious.

Big(gest) sister

I think Cran was made to be a big sister. She fills the role effortlessly.

It's so funny because she tells us all the time that when Beebster was a baby "I didn't like her too much, Momma" and then proceeds to laugh. When we look through old pictures of the two of them together in Faith's newborn days, Maddie seriously was always leaning the other way if I tried to pose them next to each other. It's hilarious. Once Faith started crawling and becoming mobile and interactive with her Dee, the two became inseparable friends. Their bond is everything I always dreamed of for my girls.

Maddie with her Abrie is so different. She dotes on her baby sissy constantly. She wants to hold her all the time. She was sick when Abrie was born, and her voice was so cute when she'd say in the raspy, frogginess of a sore throat: "awww, little Abrie" over and over again. She cried when she would have to leave her baby sissy and I. She LOVES when Abrie is awake and has her eyes wide opened. She imitates everything that I do too, and just had 4 baby dolls all set up on the floor next to Abrie while we "played." She asks all the time for hand sanitizer because she wants Abrie to suck on her finger; she says this is "soooo cute!" I can tell already that Abrie will look up to Maddie just as much as Beebster already does. It will be really neat!

******

Maddie was funny about Mother's Day today. She and Faith got out their nets from 'Elefun' and wanted to catch a butterfly for me. Instead, they settled for picking some flowers and I have them in a glass bowl on the dining room table. She noticed also that we have two corn on the cobs left from the last time Dan grilled, and is so excited to peel them tonight. She helped Dan the other night when he grilled, and absolutely loved peeling them. I haven't had nearly as much time to bake with my helper, but yesterday I made it a point to make something with her in the afternoon. She had requested to make lemonade and muffins. We made lemon poppyseed muffins (that weren't very good) and I told her she could use the writing icing to decorate hers, so she loved that.

Miss Appreciative

I wish these little ladies of ours never had to grow a day older. 

Obviously this is impossible though, and so I am enjoying every single second spent with them and cherishing all their sweetness and innocence.

Our Maddie is sweetness defined. She was telling Grampa yesterday on Easter "let's not talk about me being 12, Grampa.. I don't even want to be 5 years old. I want to be 4 years old." (Grampa was saying something about what she'll be like when she's 12 years old). She is in NO rush to grow bigger or older, and I appreciate this from my Crannie. I remember always wanting to be older and for time to go faster when I was little, and I'm so glad that Maddie likes to appreciate everything while it lasts. She told me out of the blue the other day in the afternoon when it was just she and I, "Momma, you're the best mother in the world. I'm so glad I am your daughter." It still floors me when she tells me things like this, and I nearly cried. I told her there's no better job in the world than to be Momma to my Cran and her little sisters.

She cracks me up also with how intuitive she is. People are constantly not only asking me, but also Maddie, about when she is going to start school and how she likes preschool, etc etc. Maddie always answers, "No, I do school with my Momma." She knows just as much- if not more- than every other child her age in school, and I think she resents hearing the sermon all the time about her not being in school yet just as much as I do. Today we went for our walk and she was telling her Faith-y, "Beebster, we have a wonderful schedule. We go outside in the mornings and do studies (they call them their 'nature studies' haha), we have fun, we come home and eat lunch, we take our rests, I do my activities with Momma and you keep sleeping, we do fun stuff with Daddy, we eat dinner, and we go to sleep. See, we have a schedule" (to all of this, of course Faith was saying "Ess, Ess Dee!"). It can be so funny to hear their conversations, and to hear Maddie's perspective on everything.

My sweet little girl.

Sweetness, with a new hint of spice

I didn't take Cran for her dance pictures this past Sunday (too expensive), hence my own pictures of her in her adorable tap/ballet recital costume. She looks so darn precious. I'd actually been needing to try it on because I had to cut some ribbon, and it fits her really well. She's quite excited for her big dance show at the end of May (as are WE!) and is already talking about how she wants her hair done. My little Crannie!

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Four years old has emerged as the feisty age for Maddie! She's our same, sweet little girl with a new streak of tenacity and feistiness that has only ever been seen in her little Beebster sister. It's been so funny, and surreal, to see it all emerge within the last month for sure. She asks "why?" about EVERYTHING now, including tasks that we ask of her. She wants to know why she is being asked to do something, and I end up with the classic "because I told you to do it!" Of course, "why?" is asked about every single other thing under the moon as well. She wants to know about everything, and I mean everything. She is not a girl that accepts vague answers, and wants to know an in-depth answer and wants it explained to its fullest-- or, as best as can be answered. She's so funny about that, especially when it comes to nature and wanting to know why things are so. 

I wouldn't have it any other way though. Our Crannie is growing up and, inevitably, molding a new personality. She is the absolute sweetest 4-year old girl that I know though, and her whole life is spent with her classic sayings of "this is the best day ever!," "I'm so excited," "oh, I love this day," "I'm so lucky to have you, Beebster (or, Momma.. Daddy)," etc etc etc. EVERY day to her is her "best day." She's thankful all the time for the most trivial things, and I just love that about her. 

Four years and 2 months old. I am reminded of this every day. Little Alexa was 4 years and 2 months old when she went to Heaven. I can't even imagine losing our Maddie or our Faith, and it makes me crazy thinking that if we were in their shoes we wouldn't have our Cran anymore here with us. I feel so blessed every day to have my little girls, and the challenges that await us on our path of raising little women are challenges that I look forward to wholeheartedly. There will never be a day that goes by that I don't look at our Crannie and thank the Lord that she is here. I love my sweet girl so much. 

Dancing chef

Cran and I haven't been baking or cooking nearly as much lately since I've been trying to cut the grocery bill as best as I can. She checked out another cookbook though from the library the other day, and wanted to make two things in particular: nachos and dalmation cupcakes. The ingredients were few for both of these things, and so I promised her that when we went to the store on Friday that we would get what we needed to make these two things.

Dan grilled last night, and he and his Cran had a mutual admiration for their jobs as chefs. It was quite funny actually. Dan absolutely loved her nachos (which were so easy to make-- just salsa, melted cheese, and scallions.. I think next time we'll make them with pulled pork since she loves the ones from Smokey Bones so very much!) and she was asking today at lunchtime if Dan was going to grill again tonight. I thought that was funny. He made her day when he asked for them again today- he told her they were the best nachos he's ever had- and she made them for him again tonight. 

She baked dalmation cupcakes this afternoon after her rest. They came out really cute, and she and Beebster added sprinkles to a few since she didn't want them all to be dalmations. Haha. She then asked for a 'science lesson' (which would be "Planet Earth") and told me that "the most vicious animals in all the Earth are african hunting dogs." Haha.

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I am so proud of my little Triggy at dance. She's always done so well, and now lately with them practicing every week for their show at the end of May, she is definitely the most animated little girl there. Ms. Dawn tells her all the time that she appreciates that she sings the songs the loudest and always tries her hardest at every class. The mothers all tell me how animated she is and how they can tell that she loves going to class every week. She absolutely loves practicing the shows! She starts laughing when they turn out the lights to re-create how it will be for the actual show. They line up (Maddie is first in line) and Maddie burst out today saying "This is the best day of my life!" when they asked us to come in to watch. She sings the songs by heart and sings them so that is heard above everyone else. It's crazy because she doesn't seem like she is the youngest in the class, but really she is. She loves all of the girls in the class and LOVES Ms. Dawn and their assistant, Miss Melissa. It seems as though she's made for doing actual stage shows because she gets even more enthused about practicing than when they used to do just random steps and practice basics, etc. 

Her memory is ridiculous too. She can sing the songs she learns at dance class after the first time they practice them. She and Faith love this Christmas Princess CD that they borrowed from the library, and the girl has the lyrics down after listening to each song 1-2 times. She made me laugh so much on the way to dance this morning because she was singing one of the princess songs and it had a very high note to it. She sang it, and her voice cracked and she goes, "I just don't have a good voice" and laughs. It was hilarious!

Our little performer

Maddie and her dance class practicing their ballet portion of the recital

Waltzing Matilda

a preview to Maddie's ballet dance for the recital!

Tap dancing Crannie

I personally love this song for their tap dance, and Maddie's always so animated when she does it (although of course the day I take the camera, she was slightly less animated!)

Strawberry Patch with Sally

Maddie's tap dance for their show in May

Budding artist

I think the Easter bunny might have to bring Maddie a sketch pad. 

I wish we had more room for an easel, but with living in an apartment, we can only really have a handful of 'big' things that take up space. She's so very into her drawings these days though. It's really sweet how she gets into it. She uses up so much construction paper though! She insists on drawing everything on its own piece of construction paper; if she wants to draw our family, she needs a separate piece for each of the 4 of us. 

After her rest time today, we played 'Cootie' and then she wanted to draw. She drew her Beebster, herself, Daddy, me, Nene, Grampa, Uncle Schnoogo, Tia Rosa and the cutest picture of what she deemed "two mystery people." It looked like two little girls in her "mystery picture" so I asked her if it was Dee and Dis (herself and her Beebster), and she told me "nope, it's me and Ella. And, we're picking cherries." Low and behold, she had drawn cherries in their little hands. It was so cute! Her drawings are becoming increasingly more elaborate; she puts buttons on dresses and shirts, she draws bellybuttons, and she puts hairbows in the hair of little girls. She loves asking Faith what to draw, and Faith gets so excited to have a picture that Maddie drew for her.

Conversations with a Cran, and artwork

Cran was quite full of interesting conversations today.

While on a walk this morning, Maddie started talking about the difference between 'nice' killer whales (in captivity) and 'mean' killer whales in the wild. She then went on to say, "but, the meanest, meanest, meanest animal in the whole, wide world is a sperm whale. Can you believe it? Momma, he will pull you down to the depths of the ocean."

She then, out of the blue, asked why we don't live at Nene's house. I told her we used to live there when she was a tiny little toddler before her Beebster was born, and that she used to dance in the kitchen with Nene every single morning, afternoon, and night. She laughed, and then very seriously asked again "Momma, why can't we live with Nene?" I asked her, "well, why do you want to live with Nene? It'd be a far drive for your poor Daddy to go to work." She answered, "because I love Nene." We then went inside for lunch and Maddie and Faith were excited to get to choose a bag of chips from those big variety bags of snack packs (we never get them, but we had a coupon at Target for them). She picked a bag of Cheetos and goes, "oh, these are wonderful snacks. Well, ok Momma, I guess I can stand living here." Hahahahaha.

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Maddie's artwork is getting so cute these days. She loves drawing and asks Faith all the time what she wants her to draw. Usually it's always "a boo, a baa, a (sniffs her nose like a bunny), a (makes bubble sounds for a fish), a ruff, Momma, Da-Da, Dee, Dis." Ha! She made pictures of all of us today on separate pieces of construction paper and immediately now goes to hang them on the fridge with pride. While we were out for dinner, she drew an awesome picture of a fish. I didn't even believe that she had made it at first. I truly thought Dan had made it for her. So, I was quite proud. She then made a blowfish (which actually did look like Bloat from 'Nemo') and then a sperm whale "like Monstro." 

Sweet smelling

Little Cran just emerged from her room looking for her Beebster. I wondered why she smelled so good if tonight wasn't bath night, and then I remembered.. she insisted on three splashes of perfume before bed so that she would "smell like a princess."

Cran was so excited the other day. We had gone to a local consignment shop looking for clothes for the baby. She LOVES looking at baby outfits, and says "awww" constantly while holding them up to examine them. She and Faith look through the baby stuff every single morning. Maddie helped me pick out two sweet little outfits (I was so proud... a Carter's and a Gymboree outfit, each with tags still on them for $2.99!) and just loved them. She found a new workbook too which she really loves. She doesn't even want to wait for me to read her the directions to each page, and I find her in her room with a pen circling things and underlining things while coming up with her own sets of instructions! We went to the Dollar Store afterwards, and they just love going there these days. Maddie's insistent on finding Jasmine socks (they each love getting princess socks for $1/each.. I think those will be added to their Easter baskets this year!) and she and her Beebster just love browsing the store. Dan found Maddie a pair of jeans for $.95!! He was so proud!

Crannie is looking forward to the grocery shopping tomorrow. I told her she and Faith could make a more elaborate recipe (that they agreed upon) from one of her three cookbooks since we've been making just simple boxed things lately. Too many ingredients= too expensive sometimes! But, she and Faith picked a candy pizza, so they're both excited to get baking tomorrow. 

Big sister-to-be for the 2nd time

Cran felt her baby sissy's hiccups today. We were playing 'Candyland' and she is always asking me to tell her if I feel the little miss moving, so I told her her baby sissy was being funny with a case of the hiccups. Cran was thrilled to put her hand on my stomach and feel the constant repetition of little baby hiccups. Her face totally lit up and she told me, "she kicked me! she's so silly! why does baby sissy have the hiccups?" It was great.

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Poor Cran now is the one with the horrible cough that Faith had last week. Neither one of them is sick persay, just with this God awful cough. Fresh air and exercise seemed to make Faith's cough better when she had it, but it made Maddie's worse today when we were out for a long walk this morning and then at the playground in the afternoon. Maddie came out of her room at about 9:45pm coughing up a storm, and it's 10:46pm and she has only now seemed to be able to settle into some restful sleep. I just came from turning on a steaming shower again and sitting on the toilet with her to let the steam do its work. That seemed to work wonders with Faith's cough, but it's not Maddie's favorite thing to do. Poor thing. I just sat there holding her and rubbing her leg while she fell asleep on my lap for a few minutes. 

Attention to details

Maddie cracks me up with the things that she does just like me.

The other day after her rest and before her activity, I was going through this big Disney book that she has in their room. I will admit to some slight OCD about certain things (and it's definitely not nearly as bad as it was before having had my girls!) and I have to have their Disney movies in chronological order according to what year they were released. I'm just like that. Anyway, I noticed I had a few wrong. So, Maddie thought it was neat helping me go through the book and fixing some of the movies on their DVD rack.

Today during her rest she came out of her room and whispered to me, "Momma, you were wrong about something. 'Cinderella' comes before 'Peter Pan.'" She had gotten out the book herself and was re-working our reconfiguration from the other day. She had it perfectly right, and told me "See, now they're in the right order."

Cranster- miss animated!

BY this time, Faith had grown bored of dancing but Maddie kept on going! She's too funny with the face she makes while she dances!

Cracks me up

Crannie just came flying out of her room during 'rest time' full of excitement. She's been busy circling things from the American Girl catalog that she'd like for Easter (which includes practically every single item listed in the catalog!) and she came out wanting to show me what she had circled for myself, Dan, and Beebster. She had circled the Bitty Twins for all of us: the Caucasian ones for me, the African American ones for Dan, and the Hispanic ones for Beebster. It made me laugh! Not to mention, she's giving all of the dolls her made-up names rather than the names from the books, and they are all either Ellie, Dellie, Lellie, or Bellie. It's too funny.

Needless to say, she is quite excited and ready for Easter. She finished her math workbook within a few days of getting it, and then finished a princess book of spelling words that she loves. So, she decided her 'activity' for the last 2 days would be to make the Easter bunny a list of things she'd like. The Christmas list took about a week to complete, but this list only took 2 days. She's getting fast!

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Have totally forgotten to mention Cran's love of baked potatoes. This girl LOVES her baked potatoes, and I think it's now been several months where this is one of her favorite foods. She and Faith love picking out potatoes at Giant with us and then taking turns putting them on the scale. I swear Maddie would eat a baked potato every single day, for every single meal!

Depictions

The other day when Faith was sick, Dan went to Giant for some freeze pops for our poor little Beebster. He came home with a Princess magazine that caught his eye that he figured would put a smile on our little women's faces. He was very right. They loved it. It just so happened too that it had Jasmine on the cover, so it made Maddie's day. There was also a poster inside that they both helped hang on their wall. 

Inside of the magazine, there was a place where you could draw yourself with your favorite princess and then number your favorite princesses in order. They were both on their stomachs on the living room floor numbering their favorite princesses. Maddie would go first with a choice, then ask Faith and Faith would point and say "Ess!" Anyway, Maddie took it upon herself to draw the depiction for the 'princess and me' portrait. She ended up drawing what she said are herself, Jasmine, and her Beebster all holding hands and in a row. It was too sweet. Faith keeps pointing to that picture (now on the fridge) every day.

Also, the other day Maddie was working on her math workbook. There were two pages that were about big, bigger, biggest and small, smaller, smallest. She had to draw at the bottom of each page something or someone smaller than herself, and something or someone bigger than herself. She drew Beebster for someone smaller, and she drew a little friend from the complex named Kayla for someone bigger. Those drawings are always priceless.

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Maddie was one of only 6 girls at dance class today. She was- and is-, by far, the most enthusiastic of all of the girls there. She has moments where she says she doesn't quite feel like going to dance class, and we have missed twice because clearly we're not going to force her to go. But, 99% of the time, she is so extremely excited about seeing Ms. Dawn and enthused about their helper teacher, Ms. Melissa. It's really neat. They've started learning their two dances for their show in May, and Maddie is the only one that sings at the top of her lungs and gets excited about it all. Their costumes are precious, and Dan and I are so excited to see our Crannie on stage in May!

Spontaneous singing

Crannie caught on camera while she takes her "rest time".. ironically, she was singing the song from the Disney show that she still remembers quite well

My sweetheart

My sweet girl was so excited to go the library today to check out some new books. She was thrilled to find her Disney cookbook that she constantly is borrowing from the library, plus a bunch of Disney books and a Princess movie featuring none other than Jasmine. She went to the librarian with her Beebster and when the librarian looked at the cookbook and asked Maddie if she likes to cook, Maddie jumped on that opportunity to talk about cooking:

"Oh, I LOVE cooking. I help my mother all the time. (with a huge smile and her head tilted to the side with her hands folded together). I help my mother crack the eggs, and it's so much fun. One day, I will help clean up the mess afterwards."

Hahaha. My favorite parts were the cleaning up the mess part, and the fact that she was referring to me as her 'mother.' She's too funny!

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Last night in the tub she started singing the 'Thankfulness" from a Veggie Tales episode that they haven't seen in months. She had her own words to it, and I couldn't help but smile at my sweet Crannie:

"I thank God for my family.. for my mom and my dad. For my Beebster and her pompas (hahaha), and for my trip to DisneyWorld. I love my trips to Sesame and to my favorite beach hotel. I thank God all the time."