Children always amaze me at how perceptive they are at an incredibly young age, and Maddie and Faith are no different. Maddie has proven since a very young age to have one amazing photographic memory and a knack for details. She is a perfectionist who is usually hesitant to even start a project or learn anything, unless she seems to know she'll do well at it and not fail. I swear that was how she all of a sudden completely did the whole toilet thing in a matter of a week. She may have been 2 years and 8 months old, but she knew she would figure it out at that age and do it 'right' according to her, so she waited and sure enough was in underwear at night by the end of that week. It has always been the same with Cran about almost every other aspect of learning too.
For the past month or so, she and I have had "school" while Beebster naps. Cran of course has her downtime for an hour, but by 2pm if she hasn't fallen asleep, she is extremely excited to start her new 'letter of the day.' She just finished 'Y' and 'Z' yesterday, and is now one proud little student girl who points out all her letters in everyday life. We went to Toys R Us this morning, and she told us all the letters on the sign (except for 'Y' which she didn't recognize since it looked different than how she had learned it). On our walk this afternoon, she would stop at all of the signs pointing to the different names for the apartment buildings and show me the letters. It's great.
We intermixed the numbers with the letters, so she's got a lot of her number recognition down pat too. And, today I asked her what she wanted to do and she told me she wanted to learn to write. So, now I figure we'll spend a part of every day practicing writing a few letters each day. Not to mention that after our "school," she always tells me that she needs her "science lesson" which is a few segments that she gets to choose from either "Blue Planet" or "Planet Earth." She's MY girl in that aspect, totally mine! She laughs hysterically when the ducks fall out of the tree in the 'seasonal forests' portion of Planet Earth, she tells the killer whales that they are disgusting when they eat baby sea lions that are just learning to swim in Blue Planet, and she knows that a male elephant seal has a huge nose compared to a female elephant seal who is "cute" according to Cran. It's the coolest thing in the world to see Maddie always so proud of herself with everything that she learns. And, I feel that it's so incredibly rewarding to know that I can teach her everything that she knows without going to preschool, etc.
She has really done so well. A part of me always feels guilty that I don't get as much quality one-on-one time anymore with Cran as I used to. Our time together as the three girls of the family is always priceless, and yet the time that I get with them by themselves is so precious that I always think, relax and have fun. Don't become overly obsessed with the whole 'what should my toddler be doing by so and so an age.' Same goes for Beebster, and in her case I often feel even more pangs of guilt. Poor Faith has never had me completely and utterly to herself (or Dan for that matter) the way Maddie did for all of those 22 months before her little sis was born. I suppose that is just inevitable, those pangs of guilt. And, I'm sure they are only compounded with each child thereafter.
But, I remind myself that Cran is one HAPPY little girl. I have really never met a happier 3-year old. Clearly, I am doing something right. The mother guilt constantly hangs over my head, as it does I'm sure with every single mother out there-- by night's end, 'did I give 100% to Cran? Did I give 100% to Beebster? Did I give 110% to both of them?' The questions that I am sure linger on every mother's mind at night's end. And, I can always confidently say that I tried and almost always that yes, I did succeed.
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